Do your Saturn

John's passing has caused me to rediscover who I am and what I want to do. Really, how do I want to bring more joy into my life.. this fleeting life.
I joined an online astrology lecture series.  I love astrology and find it interesting that my last post here had to do with Saturn!!  Saturn is now in Capricorn in my 4th house, the house of my foundation, my home, roots and that house has seen the endings of much of what I hold dear. The selling and destruction of my childhood home and the passing of John, my comfort, and my "home".
I know all things change and it's not like I didn't know it was coming...
What I didn't know was how I was going to feel about it all.
Like the house gone.. an empty hole.. there is an empty hole in my heart that I try to fill.
I fill it with memory. Work. Study. More time in the gallery. More time doing art. Teaching classes.
More time for me. It feels foreign.
I'm so used to doing for others, I lacked the "me" time. Even sleep became a need I couldn't always fill.
So now.. it is time.
I begin a new life.
I begin new projects, new studies, new classes.  I am open to recreate myself, my environment as well. Redoing the apartment, the gallery and finding how to restructure myself to "do my Saturn".. those things I don't like doing.. taxes in particular and the paperwork that goes along those same veins.
And so my new journey begins...