Monday, December 1, 2008

Seek and you shall find..eventually

"What we seek we do not find - that would be too trim and tidy for so reckless and opulent a thing as life. It is something else we find. -Susan Glaspell, The Morning Is Near Us, 1939

I had to laugh when I read the quote above in an email this morning...
Yesterday was a bit frustrating because I was looking for a book (EVERY WHERE!) but could not find it... (still looking)... but instead I found other things :-)
Oil paints, a color chart, another book, a calender that would help if I don't find the book..stuff for Saturday's Holiday Happening....
I tried to forget it by creating and made some paper angels... figuring it would relax my brain.
If I found the book right away, I wouldn't have found the other stuff :-)

On a different level, what is it I am seeking?
Sometimes I do think I seek some order in my life, for everything to be neat and accessible.. for it all to be in easy reach.
If my art room is any indication of the reality of my life... what I want to reach for is usually something very inaccessible... I have to clear off, climb up and more often than not have good balance and be brave.
Actually what I am really seeking is wholeness and unity. I want to feel at One with all there is.. To feel the presence of God/Universe/ Peace...
In the big scheme of life, does it really matter that my room is a mess... there's a lot going on there. Projects abound! It's good. (and I did do some really good clearing out)
I want to play big!
Upon reading a line in While the Heart Waits about God experiencing through us, it gave me thought about how we experience life. I'm sure God has experienced enough sadness, enough hatred and fear, so why not play big and give God a delightful experience of creative bliss!
What I really seek is to have my heart blossom, to open up into magnificence and splendor! To be a most exquisite flower that God would say, How Cool is that!!!??? and feel Love :-)
And... if we are the reflective spirits of God, and I believe we are, then we have each other to react to our "being" and the wonderful things we manifest.
"Delicious dinner!"
"Brilliant Painting!"
You and I speak - forgetting that connection - and our words are not always so uplifting....
I'd like to remember for NOW, that God, experiencing GodSelf through me, is speaking through me to you...
YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT!!!
on a more mundane note....
I awoke to the sound of something falling this morning... I knew it was the T-square ruler (and it was) and later another sound (not sure WHAT that was).. it being the bronze dragon fly in the bathroom, where, by the way, my Frog now sits.. remember frog (read Joanne's comment) and the thought occurred.. shit! why is everything falling? I'll go check the Tao Te Ching now :-)
(In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao, every day something is dropped.)
and in the process of letting go... I'm going to clean out the underwear drawer.

2 comments:

Stacy Wills said...

good morning doreen! thank you for the wisdom of this post. did my heart a world of good!

Joanne Gover Yoshida said...

beautiful post.
This morning I was aware that as the world goes into another crisis, 'all I do' is write light verse and find excitement in the bliss of finding.
Of course, the 'all I do' is in quotes, I know it is the way to go, to carry on and find our bliss, despite of or because of the things that are going on around us.
Your writings were like a sermon, from a divine service that I stumbled upon in a land of thought.
Many thanks,