Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
I had to laugh when I read the quote above in an email this morning...
Yesterday was a bit frustrating because I was looking for a book (EVERY WHERE!) but could not find it... (still looking)... but instead I found other things :-)
Oil paints, a color chart, another book, a calender that would help if I don't find the book..stuff for Saturday's Holiday Happening....
I tried to forget it by creating and made some paper angels... figuring it would relax my brain.
If I found the book right away, I wouldn't have found the other stuff :-)
On a different level, what is it I am seeking?
Sometimes I do think I seek some order in my life, for everything to be neat and accessible.. for it all to be in easy reach.
If my art room is any indication of the reality of my life... what I want to reach for is usually something very inaccessible... I have to clear off, climb up and more often than not have good balance and be brave.
Actually what I am really seeking is wholeness and unity. I want to feel at One with all there is.. To feel the presence of God/Universe/ Peace...
In the big scheme of life, does it really matter that my room is a mess... there's a lot going on there. Projects abound! It's good. (and I did do some really good clearing out)
I want to play big!
Upon reading a line in While the Heart Waits about God experiencing through us, it gave me thought about how we experience life. I'm sure God has experienced enough sadness, enough hatred and fear, so why not play big and give God a delightful experience of creative bliss!
What I really seek is to have my heart blossom, to open up into magnificence and splendor! To be a most exquisite flower that God would say, How Cool is that!!!??? and feel Love :-)
And... if we are the reflective spirits of God, and I believe we are, then we have each other to react to our "being" and the wonderful things we manifest.
You and I speak - forgetting that connection - and our words are not always so uplifting....
I'd like to remember for NOW, that God, experiencing GodSelf through me, is speaking through me to you...
YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT!!!
on a more mundane note....
I awoke to the sound of something falling this morning... I knew it was the T-square ruler (and it was) and later another sound (not sure WHAT that was).. it being the bronze dragon fly in the bathroom, where, by the way, my Frog now sits.. remember frog (read Joanne's comment) and the thought occurred.. shit! why is everything falling? I'll go check the Tao Te Ching now :-)
(In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao, every day something is dropped.)
and in the process of letting go... I'm going to clean out the underwear drawer.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Yesterday, I was torn between staying at home and going to a Wellness Fair. There were two women I really wanted to meet there, but there was a strong pull to stay home and work on some art projects. Should I go... should I stay... decision making is so difficult for me. Torn.
I went into my art room and got lost in some art making, when I heard a sound that did NOT sound good... something had fallen in the bedroom.
I got up to find my "thinking" frog had leaped off the shelf onto the floor, missing his left foot and the candle (which had been previously lit that morning) over turned.
Immediately, I was grateful that my Gratitude candle was not lit! Then picked up froggy and found his foot.
I noticed it was 1:00. Was froggy telling me something??
If I leave now, I can catch the 1:30 lecture!!! It must be an OMEN!
I'm meant to go.
I grabbed the glue and attached his foot... found a safe place for him to sit upside down while drying.... Heart over Head did not go unnoticed :-)... put on my converse sneakers, grabbed my coat and Peru hat (very windy out)... said, "see ya later" to hubby and I was off.........
Green lights and clear traffic (except one guy that wanted to cross my path) gave me further validation I was meant to go.
I entered the grounds, looking for some sort of sign... no signs?? I asked one guy and he told me to go right.... found another woman and she pointed to the building behind her... I could park along side the road I was on... no other cars??
where is everybody??
(sometimes, it takes me awhile :-)
I walked up the path, thinking, "wow, not a lot of people here means I'll get my choice of sessions"... I check one door and it is locked, another... locked.. I continue up the path..
Notice how persistant I am :-)
A woman comes out to see if I need help.. a very kind woman and when I mention the Wellness Fair, she tells me it's next week.
I laugh at myself.. again.
I over think... and of course I thought about the frog message on the way home..
Maybe he was telling me something else.
Like, clean your room! or maybe that I over think.........
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Chaos and Order will always be.
Our power is not in our ability to dissolve the shadows,
Our power is in our ability to manifest worlds of Light
What we think, we become.
This is a Truth we possess,
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
This book, with the premise of if you knew you had 37 left to live your life, what would you do.. It puts things into perspective.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
These ivy eyes are pretty much saying what is going on with me.
Poison Oak! Yes, it is surrounded my eyes, around my face, in my ear...
It's been an interesting week, to say the least and I would love to attribute it to the mercurial hiccups, but it may just be that there are lessons that were not learned, and I revisisted them again. In the cosmic calender, it was written :"The point of Mercury reversals is to allow human beings to review, reflect and re-evaluate what's been happening in their lives for several months, make the necessary corrections and then go forward again having learned some difficult lessons."
How is it that I did not learn this one!?! This is not the first time it's happened.
About early 90's, when I was teaching in a school, I decided to pick some leaves behind my home, for the kids to draw in art class. Same time of the year, as they were changing colors, not to mention in time for Halloween!
Repeat. Fast-forward to Wednesday... I did check to see if there were the three-leaf poison ivy plants and thought I was ok, but I did have to reach for that one that had changed to a beautiful red... needless to say, I wasn't too sure what poison oak looked like, and it just may be the leaf I picked!
My eyes do not look pretty...................
I am now reviewing my past week... heated arguement in yoga class between two students.. (rash behaviour?) yes, that's right, yoga class! Isn't that supposed to be calm and relaxing...... followed by a irrate custodian leaving a message having to do with enough room in yoga class which would have prevented the arguement.
Make the necessary corrections and move forward.
1) Do NOT, repeat, DO NOT go into the back to pick leaves ever again!!!!
2) Communicate DIRECTLY to custodian about space issues for yoga class.
3) Move forward, with lessons learn.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Yesterday on our walk, I took a picture of this spider. She was pretty big and I was a little far from her for a good shot, but this morning, It got me thinking ...
I've been coming across a lot of spirals in nature lately, as I've become more focused on patterns in nature... more so this year than any other. Probably because of my interest in the mandalas, sacred geometry and "messages".
The spiral is a pattern found throughout nature and a powerful image for me... unfolding that which is hidden or maybe folding in upon it self in order to hide.. expansion and contraction.. birth and decay.
The spider according to Ted Andrews, "teaches you to maintain a balance - between past and future, physical and spiritual, male and female." (Maintaining Balance being the "theme" of this blog)
Reading his mention that the "spiral energy, the links with the past and the future". This I had to laugh about because I ran into a childhood friend... my first "boyfriend" that I played with and like very much.... and I was with my husband. My past and my present/future. (life's funny)
According to Angeles Arrien, the spiral is about growth and change. "It is the process of coming to the same point again and again, but at a different level, so that everything is seen in a new light."
She says flexibility is a majoy requirement and this is the angel card that sits on my desk.
"The spiral in art and the spiral metaphor used in mythological spinning and weaving stories are both symbols for the same universal process of growth. They each announce the desire for diverse expression of creativity." (italics mine)
We all have this natural desire to grow and evolve spiritually with "the relentless power of the creative spirit". Our creative endeavors must be honored and respected. We must listen to that inner creative urge to explore new avenues, go where the muse will take us.. Risk, stretch, grow.
I had a dream last night that I was to travel to Mexico to take a class in clay and photography.
I found a cheap flight from Westchester airport for only $150 and the flight was to take off at 1:50. Not sure what the numbers mean (yet) but I pondered the whole process of the spiral and went into my art room to create a new mandala using the spiral.... of course :-)
Saturday, September 6, 2008
This is what she said as we were leaving, after John bought me this beautiful bracelet called "Butterfly Maiden".
I always see messages, probably more so than the average person. Probably too much.
Always looking for meaning to things, hidden meanings.
Sometimes I just cannot ignore them. It's the way of the Seeker.
This summer was the summer of the caterpillars. I saw them 3 different times, each time they crawled into the art tent. I've worked there for 24 years (!!) and it was the first time I saw them. They were big green ones which became filled with yellow hairs.
We were browsing the tables, and we came upon this one table that was selling bracelets that were made with "intentions"... and the one she pulled for me, "Butterfly Maiden" pink and topaz crystals... I thought it very intuitive on her part. We chatted for a bit and told her about the caterpillars and my astrological reading.
Just before this, I had a reading where I was told I was in a "gestation period", a waiting period where it was better for me to wait, rather than "do" anything...... Saturn was sitting in my 12th house and would soon conjunct my ascendant, but until that time, it was not a time of doing, but rather waiting.... and then I would "know" what to do.
I'm reading "When the Heart Waits" by Sue Monk Kidd, which I bought awhile back and just picked it up yesterday. She talks about waiting, the gestation period and the cocoon she found.
The importance of waiting spiritually is often overlooked in our "fast-paced" society.
Here it was again. No accident in buying this book! another message.
I'm ok with waiting, but I'm curious as well... what does life have in store for me when I do break out of my cocoon... what will this transformation look like?
There are things in my life that are working very well for me and I would be grateful for them to stay the same, but there are things that need to go.
Get rid of what is not working to make room for that which is, and to be better able to focus on it more efficiently.
I am painting again.
This brought up a dream, reminded by the book actually, of the giant cocoon filled with many little cocoons that turned into butterflies. I was standing at the doorway of my art room looking into my bedroom where this was happening. I painted this, and put it away unfinished.
Messages of transformation have been repeating themselves to me these past few months, maybe longer.
I've just been having these feelings that something is on the verge, about to change, there is something more... something different... and I am wondering.. what?
So I have gone back to painting, mostly to see what wants to show up. What is it that needs to be revealed. (The magic of painting)
Saturn in the 12th house of the unconscious will move into the 1st house. The house of me.
Who is that? What will my soul reveal to me, my purpose, my mission. I'm ok with being still, going within to discover what that is. To get in touch with the "still voice within" and discover what kind of butterfly I actually am.
I see it as a process, each time I "transform", I grow deeper into my spirituality and discover another deeper part of myself, the true Self that needs to be expressed.
Shedding away the masks we put on for the public and allowing more and more of the Self to express itself.
Amazing process really, but it calls for a lot of patience, doesn't it?
Monday, September 1, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
will soon pass it on to 5 more bloggers....
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
We vacation in Phoenicia, NY on the Esopus river. Smooth round stones are everywhere. Each time, I come back with an armful in the trunk. Instead of watching TV, I spend the evenings painting on them. Mostly mandalas.
Some of these stones were given as gifts or ended up in our pond at moms. Other's are placed around our home, piles placed on the floor or window sills.
Special ones were gathered from Lake Titicaca.
Along with the river stones, are gem stones: Amethyst, carnelian, turquoise, geodes placed strategically around as well.
I was surprised when the camp director pulled out three stones from her pocket the last day at camp. She said she felt naked without them.. always carrying them. One she had used to have words on it and were rubbed off with time. Worry stones.
What is this comfort we get from holding stones?
They are like the bones of the earth. solid. grounding. slow to change.
One more week here and then we leave for the cabin there.
I rest on rocks heated by the sun, allowing it's heat to penetrate my back as I lie down, with my feet dangling in the cool running water. Just being. soaking up the energy of the place. resting. rejuvenating.... and gathering stones.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
***As I am sitting here beginning to write about this, the oddest(?) thing is occurring!!!
I am watching a program on India and they are talking about mandalas... not only that but the image they showed is similar to the image ( the center part) here. .. and with the white center the same in the cross ... they say it is the most important part... representing "enlightenment"...
... so cool.
ok. now that THAT is over :-)
back to my feelings about this~
As I chose my first, third and fifth symbols to create this, (check link below for explanation)
I found my self resisting, hesitating... I think it was the square.. I kept looking at "perfection".
I even looked for some stencils. I did use them with part of this and then abandoned them.
Square to me is "structure" and I tend to have a bit of a rebellious relationship with it. It's more of a love/hate one. I need it to a degree, especially to help me get started.. to keep deadlines, etc. but when it come to the act of creating, I need more freedom, so that is where resistance was coming in. It wasn't as spontaneous as I have been with the previous mandalas.
With the square, I was also feeling that it needed to be symmetrical. (some discipline involved?)
As I moved along, I realized I was creating the Andean Cross which I have been attracted to since my first trip to Peru. The image is in the yellow square, and is made with my three chosen symbols.
I intensely observed my reactions to creating this, which is something I don't always do, at least not as much.
I began to like where it was going and my attitude was changing to one of openness, excited and then settled into this feeling of being inspired ... until one point - the moons and the background to them. Unsure what to do, I waited... and then....
...... the asymmetry comes in at last. Because there were 12 circles, I thought of the 12 months, the phases of the moon and that's where I gravitated to.
To me the square is grounding (foundation). I see it as Earth, structure, rigidity, solid, stable and it is the number 5 choice of my preferences.
This was an interesting process that can be found on Sue's blog, Sacred Circle Mandalas where you can read about these symbols in depth and some very interesting info she gathered from Angeles Arrien's book, Signs of Life. Go check it out!
I'm ready to do another one..
Sunday, July 20, 2008
No tracing (obviously)... next I drew the inner circle and then proceeded with the shapes around the circle... not knowing what they would be.
Finally inside the inner circle, she appeared. I think it is my desire to get in touch with nature. To feel the peacefulness, it's serenity, it's healing ability... just to have that feeling of being one with it.
It's been a "harried" week. Mom had appointments... John had appointments and of course there is work... and it was (and still is) HOT!
Tuesday was spent at the medical center... spleen specialist and cat scans.
Ironically, the place was freezing inside. Blankets were placed around for the taking and I definitely needed one.... while outside it was hot as hell! (figure of speech here - don't really believe in hell) .......anyway.........
There, I met Rose. John went to get her a blanket as she sat freezing and John being John, started up chatting away, making her laugh.
She was from Sicily, so we moved into the direction of travel and we teased John about flying. (He won't fly, but that's another story)
While John was inside getting scanned, I learned about Rose and was reminded "there is always someone worse off that you or your loved ones".
She didn't even have a spleen, was waiting for a liver transplant and has lupus. I learned about the effects of ammonia on the liver and the brain.
So, the cloud formations surrounding the inner circle, were intentions of healing the liver and spleen...
John got one step closer towards more healing as the catheter was taken out on Friday. He is a very happy camper.
Many healing thoughts go out to others today that need healing in what ever form, physically, mentally, emotionally.......
May you feel the breeze on your skin and smell a flower and hopefully it's not too hot for ya!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
For me, home is important... it is my sanctuary. I need a peaceful environment to regenerate, to regroup, and of course to create. Our home is art and filled with love... two of us coming home to one another... sitting together and coloring.
I found this as well:
The turtle is a creature of the water. Because of its great age and its slow metabolism the turtle is associated with longevity. Turtle medicine can teach new perceptions about time and our relationship to it. It can also help us grow old gracefully and in harmony with our environment. When the pace of life becomes too hectic the turtle shows us how to slow down and go with the flow.
Turtles have amazing survival skills and strategies. They sense vibrations in the water through their skin and shell. Turtle totems hold the mystery of awakening the senses on both the physical and spiritual levels and can stimulate clairaudience.
Turtles carry their homes on their back. The shell is actually the backbone and ribs of the turtle and serves as home and shelter for it. Those with this medicine should remember not to acquire more possessions then they actually need. The burden of responsibility can become a heavy weight for you to carry.
When turtle is flipped on its back it uses its strong neck to right itself. This can be a reminder to use your own head and inner knowledge to right yourself when your world gets topsy-turvy.
All turtles must come ashore to lay their eggs and they are usually buried. When the eggs hatch they make their way to the water. The link between water and land especially for the purpose of reproduction has great significance.
When turtle shows up in your life, it is time to get connected to your most primal essence. Go within your shell and come out when your ideas are ready to be expressed. The turtle cannot separate itself from its shell and we cannot separate ourselves from what we do to the earth. The way to heaven is through the earth and both are interconnected.
and then I found this as well, and found some of this to fit as well:
The tortoise is a land bound creature and is exclusively terrestrial. In myth and folklore the tortoise represents determination and longevity. Tortoises have high domed shells and heavy elephant like hind legs. The weight of its shell keeps it from moving too fast. The heaviness of its hind legs gives it the strength to carry heavy loads. Those with this totem often carry the loads of others as well as the burdens of self. They make good therapists but must be careful not to take on the problems of other people.
One of the most ancient and adaptable creatures, the tortoise holds the energy of patience and perseverance. They are very sensitive to the environment in which they live and have a strong psychic connection to mother earth. Extreme changes in climatic conditions can affect their overall disposition. Tortoise medicine people need a stable environment for their overall well being. Without this stability they are prone to mood swings.
The tortoise feels vibrations within the earth and reacts strongly to them. By observing the tortoise's behavior we are forewarned of any imbalances within the earth's core before an actual change occurs. This helps us prepare for geophysical changes in a balanced way.
The tortoise is self-reliant and self determined. Its ability to survive for as long as it has is partly due to its talent to stay focused. When this medicine is fully developed within us we use these gifts efficiently. If this medicine is underdeveloped staying centered in spite of the constant distractions that appear in our day-to-day life will be our greatest challenge.
Tortoises are vegetarians and are very terrestrial. Those with this totem can benefit from a similar diet and often place a great deal of importance on a stable home environment. The tortoise carries their home on their backs and reminds us that although stability in our life is important true stability lies within ourselves.
Moving slowly through life the tortoise observes and processes everything efficiently. This movement compliments its inner wisdom. When the tortoise shuffles into your life it is ready to share that wisdom with you. All you need to do is slow down, pay attention and begin to move with patient persistence. In this way longevity, inner strength and a harmonious lifestyle are attained.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The world's engagement of beauty is my bible,
And Art is my religion.
I come to it as a child. I add all the grown wisdom I can gather.
Creativity is my salvation.
My easel is the altar.
My paints are the sacraments.
My brush is my soul's movement,
and to do poorly, or not to work, is a sin.
For many years, this is how I have felt.. the beauty of nature was my church. I stopped going to a conventional church because I came away feeling worse than when I went in. I would rather have my time spent with "God" or this Creative Universal Intelligence.. This Ultimate Divine Being alone doing art... Art.
Art is my salvation, the path I use to find that quiet, still voice within... to keep me in touch with the Divine Self and when I don't do any art for awhile, I feel it. I feel the difference in my moods... becoming cranky, irritable.. and when we are not full of Joy, that's what sin is... against Joy and Love is not being with the Divine.. my idea of sin.
Art is my passion, and wherein lies passion, lies the connection to the Divine Self...
Follow your bliss
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Sometimes easily made and sometimes not.
I've had my challenges in making the best one.. but the fact is we have them.
We have the freedom to choose.
We ALWAYS have the freedom to choose how we react.. the path we take, where we want to go in life.
We are always free to choose.
I watched this video here and it made me think how we have become so apathetic about some things, thinking we have no choice... but we do.
We have a choice in buying goods. We are the ones with the power as a consumer.
Sometimes I'm guilty with this type of thinking.... that I'm at the mercy of the "establishment"... but most often, I'd rather dig up something in my closet than buy something that "they" believe and try to make me believe that I will be prettier, sexier, healthier, smarter... or whatever...
why not voice your opinion more often.
Today, I was annoyed with the packaging of a kit I had ordered for camp. Each piece was individually wrapped in plastic. Not only did it take forever to hand these things out , but I ended up with a bag of plastic bags!!!!
We're lucky to live in a country where we can speak up and do have the freedom to choose.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Reading up on the root chakra, I was inspired by a passage about Earth as Home. Mother Earth - Pachamama... my mother. my home. my roots......
Friday I watched Danielle Bain, Medicine Woman, and how she had come to the realization after traveling for I think 6 months, that she needed to go back home to study the medicine of her people.
Traveling is good for the soul. We learn how similar we are even with our differences. We are all brothers and sisters on this planet.
But it is always good to come home.
In the first chakra, it is where Spirit is grounded in the material world. We manifest our creativity in a physical form.
It is here where we must get out of our head and into our body. Connecting to Mother Earth provides a healing source.
We master the fundamentals of survival here by grounding our spirit into our body. We ground our energy in some form of expression, discharging an accumulaton of emotional energy.
Consciously breathing and moving our body, connecting to our inner core, bringing awareness to the body and puts us in touch with our feelings.
Move consciously upon the Earth.
Be aware of the ground beneath your feet. Walking meditation.
Tell the truth about what you feel.
"I am a child of the Universe and I am taken care of."
"I honor my body by nurturing it with healthy food, exercise, and loving thoughts"
Mother Earth blesses me with Abundance.
I take responsibility for myself. I honor all my needs.
I am in touch with the Mother within and it's healing source.
Good yoga postures to help be grounded:
Lying on your back. Knees bent and allowing the whole spine to release onto the ground.
Tree Pose ~ Mountain Pose ~ Child Pose ~Cobra ~
Blessing the Earth and being grateful.