I thought about it in the shower and while driving to class.
What came up is the unpredictablness of life and how I deal with it. We expect certain things done in a certain way, other people's behaviours, just because it's been this way... and when something comes along to disturb the peace... well, here's where the challenge comes.
How present can I remain.
I tried not to react, but I did. I fell into victim mode,
"Why me, Why me, Why me... wwaaaaaaa, wwaaaa, wwwaaaa"
yeah, I could easily had a full blown out temper tantrum :-)
and then I remembered,
"don't shoot the messenger"
and I looked at it much more deeply.
I looked at my habitual behaviour. Stuff we repeatedly do from our past childhood.
Then, I looked at what was really happening behind all this. What was the REAL issue here and... Why is it pushing my button?
I began thinking about my habits, my rituals, my addictions... all those things that bring comfort to me, and the things that help to bring ease into my life.
Take astrology for instance.
Every day I read my personalized horoscope for the day right along with the general ones.. These include planetary aspects, rising signs, what house the moon is in...
It is ritual... and most likely an addiction andI wondered if I could be more intuitive without it.
This caught my attention:
It is from The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. -Shraddha: Faith, trust. We need to trust in the intelligence of the Universe and welcome any experiences that come our way. It is about accepting and loving what is, rather than what we think should be.
This message spoke to my heart about the matter and I began to relax into seeing there might be other alternatives, other options, solutions to be had (instead of pouting).
It's been my ongoing intention to remain in the present moment and allow life to unfold, not always to my whim, not always how I think it should be, but delve into the unpredictableness of life and see what the Universe has in store for me. Sometimes I blow it.
I must say, I see growth. I bounce back more quickly, look at where the resistance is and cut through it easier... faster... but of course, some instances are more challenging than others, and I forget.
It's an interesting concept, bowing. It is a sign of respect - humbleness. And we bow from the gut. Maybe I need to bow, to honor my gut, follow my gut and see where that takes me.
Hopefully I won't bump into any walls :-)